We Will Meet Again...

Well...that didn't last long. As soon as I swore I would get back on Atkins I failed. I have been eating like shit from then on. I'm so at a loss that I don't know what to do anymore. I have one more option that I am going to re-try = Weight Watchers. I am going to sign up for the super spiffy $40/mo. plan and keep to it. With WW I can have the 1 thing that always makes me fail Atkins = beer.

Last time I did WW, I lost a lot of weight. I hope to repeat that success and then some. Best of all, there is a big center right by my new apartment so that I can regularly attend meetings.

It's kinda expensive but I think it's worth a try. I will stick to this for the next two months. If I am honestly doing the program well and not losing, I then think it's time to see a nutritionist and/or get my thyroid checked out.

Here goes nothing...
::gets credit card ready::

Why why why?

I can't do it. I just can't. I got so depressed reading my back posts. I have been dieting and working out for the past 2 months and now, I weigh much more than before.

It depresses me to go through my entries and see so many "That's it! I'm finally going to do it!" posts, only to see I have failed.

I have gone back on Atkins and I plan to stick to it, hardcore. It was the only plan that worked for me before.

I exercise 4-5 times a week at the gym so I know I am gaining muscle mass - which is most likely contributing to my weight but I just don't know.

I think it's very probable that, through all of my yo-yo dieting, I have become metabolcially resistant. That means I need patience. I need to stick to it, because the pounds will come off very slowly. Next time I go to the doctor, I will have her see if they checked my thyroid.

So, without further ado, my current stats and goals:

CW: 202 lbs.
GW: 145 lbs.

Goal weight to be reached by May 1st, 2008.

Short term goals and rewards:
180 by Halloween - Treat from Sephora under $75.
165 by Christmas - Designer handbag (Coach)
155 by Valentine's Day - 2 new suits for work.

Hitting my ultimate goal of 145 = $500 shopping spree!!

I have to keep that Coach bag in my mind and striiiive for it. It can be done!!

I gained 10 lbs since my last post so this is a little painful but...yeah that's Atkins for ya, I guess. The second you start eating carbs again, it all comes back.

Anyway, I went to the gym the first time yesterday and I loved it. I forgot how good it feels to be active and to work out! Endorphins rock!

I have also been eating a lot better, opting for more veggies and yogurt stuff rather than icky fattening crap. Hopefully I'll see positive results by next week.

This time, my goal is a bit lower than usual and I hope to obtain it by 1/1/2008. That would be the best Christmas present ever.

So...lo and behold...my first weigh-in!

SW: 192.2
LW: 192.2
CW: 192.2
G/L: N/A
Total Loss: N/A

1st 10 % Goal: 173
Pounds to 10% goal: 19.2

Long-term goal: 140
Pounds to LT goal: 52.2

Baby steps. That's all it takes. Please wish me luck!

Well I did it...I joined Powerhouse Gym.

Now, there's (hopefully) no turning back.

Now, if I can master squeezing in lunch-time workouts, and watching what I eat, I'll be set!

As usual, when there's break in my weekly weigh-in posts, that means I fell of the wagon and...I definitely fell of the wagon.

I was talking to a friend at work, who is also trying to lose weight, and we came to the conclusion that food is like heroin. Why is it so difficult to eat the right things? Why do we crave what makes us fat and feel like dog poo? It's sick.

All a person really needs to do to lose weight is diet and exercise. Why is it so difficult to make the healthier choice of a salad as opposed to a big, fat greasy burger? I seriously feel that food has become a drug. I think it's a drug for the majority of people nowadays.

Another problem that I have is portion control. Why do I feel the necessity to eat until I am so full, I suffer for the next two hours? I am slowly trying to reign in my subconscious urges to eat until I burst by sticking to regular portions. Sometimes it's so hard though.

I am pretty sure that I have gained back everything I lost trying Atkins. I have had some stomach problems a week ago and I think it's partially due to eating processed junk. I have to break this cycle. Why is it so hard? If one were to study my journal since I've had it, it could be titled "Yo-yo dieting and insecurities."

I am going to weigh myself next week and work out. Yes. Yes I will. Please please let me succeed. The year is 1/2 over and my New Year's resolution lingers.

My boyfriend thinks I'm perfect but...I want a change. I can't afford to not succeed.

SW: 189.2
LW: 185.4
CW: 182.6
G/L: - 1.4 lbs
Total Loss: 6.6 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 170.3
Pounds to 10% goal: 12.3

Long-term goal: 150
Pounds to LT goal: 32.6

Long story short...I really need to start exercising.

This week, I didn't gain or lose.It seems like I've kinda plateaued. I really really need to get my ass moving with some workouts. My metabolism needs a swift kick in the rear. :(

Still, I am not giving up!!!

SW: 189.2
LW: 185.4
CW: 184
G/L: - .6 lbs
Total Loss: 5.2 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 170.3
Pounds to 10% goal: 13.7

Long-term goal: 150
Pounds to LT goal: 34

SW: 189.2
LW: 185.4
CW: 184.6
G/L: - .8 lbs
Total Loss: 4.6 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 170.3
Pounds to 10% goal: 14.3

Long-term goal: 150
Pounds to LT goal: 34.6

Only about a pound loss this week. I'm confused. Maybe because I have less to lose? Maybe I'm losing inches? Either way, I thought Induction was when you lost most. I'm continuing it for another week.

Things to do differently this week:
- Drink more water
- Get more exercise

Tomorrow I weigh in after week 2 on Induction. I am slightly nervous because I feel like maybe I haven't been giving it my all this week. Especially on Easter Sunday! Oy! Apparently, I am still burning(?) ketones, based on the urine strip test today but I am just rather nervous. Either way, I feel that another week on induction can't hurt...no matter the result tomorrow morning.
Wish me luck!

Poop.

I accidentally ate something that had potato in it, today. I'm upset about it. Bah! It wasn't a large amount - it was this veggie mayo salad. How was I supposed to know there were teensey bits of potato in it? I hope it doesn't change things for me. I'll weigh myself on Tuesday and will see what progress I've been making. Other than that small hump in the road it's been going good.

HW: 235
SW: 189.2
CW: 185.4
G/L: - 3.8 lbs
Total Loss: 3.8 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 170.3
Pounds to 10% goal: 15.1

Long-term goal: 150
Pounds to LT goal: 35.4

SO, I'm now trying Atkins with a friend. I'm in induction so that means meat, eggs, cheese, and some veggies, It's going ok, so far. I'm a little sluggish without all the sugar but not too bad. I even have replacements for my alcohol this weekend. Rum and diet coke!!!

Now, to make sure this goes somewhere.
Weight at start of Atkins: 189.2

I'll do my usual chat starting next week.

Bad week. bad, bad week. I weigh in tomorrow and I'm not feeling to great about it.
Let's see, if I lose an average of 2 lbs a week, and my birthday is May 30...I can lose about 20 lbs. Wow! I gotta keep that thought in my head. This will be the best b-day present I can get for myself. If I were to do that, I would be 167...and finally out of the overweight category.

Motivation is key.

HW: 235
SW: 187.4
CW: 187.4
G/L: 0
Total Loss: 0 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 168.6
Pounds to 10% goal: 18.8

Long-term goal: 150
Pounds to LT goal: 37.4

HW: 235
SW: 184.4
CW: 184.4
G/L: 0
Total Loss: 0 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 166
Pounds to 10% goal: 18.4

Long-term goal: 150
Pounds to LT goal: 34.4

HW: 235
SW: 196.2
CW: 185.6
G/L: - 1.8
Total Loss: - 10.6 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 176.6
Pounds to 10% goal: 9

Long-term goal: 140
Pounds to LT goal: 45.6

It's been a long while. I have had a lot of gastro problems, recently, as well as just a bad, traumatic 2 weeks, in general. I haven't gone to the gym at all and have been eating complete crap...and currently I have my period. Boy, I am glad I lost even anything!!! Next week I shall persevere!

HW: 235
SW: 196.2
CW: 187.4
G/L: + 1
Total Loss: - 8.8 lbs.

1st 10 % Goal: 176.6
Pounds to 10% goal: 10.8

Long-term goal: 140
Pounds to LT goal: 47.4

::sigh:: I gained a lb since last weigh-in...and I did work my butt off this week. I need to repeat this for next week and I will surely see a loss.

I absolutely hate being stuck at this 180's funk. I need to break out and make my way into the 170's...and onward!!

I weigh-in tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. Although I did great this week, I am just feeling down about it. I guess we shall see in 12 hours!

I refuse to weigh in this week. First off all, I am hardcore PMSing. Secondly, I did weigh myself about 8 times this morning and I got a different number each time. The numbers ranged from 186-190. Quite a large range. God, I hope my scale isn't broken! Anyway, I'll try again next week, when my body isn't all going through feinine water retention, and see if I can get a concrete number. Til then, I need to work hard. I fear I am stuck at a plateau, but we shall see.